Hey Atoti
I'm sorry about the recent occurrences in your life especially about your dad. One of the things I have been learning lately is the intesity with which the people closest to us hurt us. Amazing how these people that matter to us sometimes want totally different things from those of our inclinations. The hardest part is determing whether these reactions from them are a sincere boost to make us into the best that we can be but still in the parameters of our dreams or whether they want to make us into little 'thems' which fundamentaly is not offensive but in essence enslaves our wills liberty and choice. I'm glad Romanus keeps intouch; if that helps at all to make you feel any closer to me. I miss you too, I feel like you came into my life and left without a second to settle. I feel like I didn't tell you enough how much meeting you was indeed no ordinary event to me,the memories of it linger in my mind and leaves me with a 'concortion'of feelings,sad, happy, longing,.......name it. If I should ever see you again, you will read me like a book. All will be said that has not been said yet, all will be done that needs to be done,yet even as I say this I can't help help thinking transcendently about the one who decides my next breath. I keep wondering about His will, purpose,and predetermined decrees concerning my life. For this I am grateful, for in the sovoreignty of God lies my hope and tranquilizer of anxiety. This one thing I know for sure,as long as I can reach you I will always want to be in your life and stay there.
Well thanks for the offer and its tough to know what is in your scope of ability to assist in, but here we go;
I have been praying for a computer programme known as LOGOS which contains everything a theological student needs to thrive. I also hope to own my own guitar sometime and ofcourse I need school fees for next term about 720usds. Please don't feel obliged to do anything because you really don't have to, I know you are in school and are still dependant but I'd appreciate anything you do even if I didn't mention it.
Take care.
Giddy

There is this TV show that plays over here called ER (it's about a hospital's emergency room) and a couple of the episodes were about some doctors that went over to Africe, the Congo, I think. Man, did it make my heart long to return.
Gids, I cannot express to you in words how much I miss everything about my trip to Africa. I feel like this coming summer in already all taken up with work as a phlebotomists and such. I don't see how I'm going to be able go back. Please pray for me. If I am going to go back, it's something that I really need to decided on quickly so I can start gathering funds and preparing myself. I just don't know what God wants me to do right now. Romamus and I have gotten in touch with eachother again and now we write eachother on a regular basis. My father really kind of freaked out on him the other day. I didn't know what to do. Romanus called me to talk and my dad got really upset like Romanus was cheating on his wife or something. I was absolutly stunned. I have no idea why my father gets so irrational sometimes. Honestly Gid, he is usually a very open minded guy. I don't say this to be mean and I hope your not offended, but the more I see my father deal with my African friends, the more I'm begining to doubt him when he told me that he really didn't care that you were African. I think that he, maybe even subconsciously, thinks very poorly of Africans. I don't know maybe he just is over protective of me. It's really been bothering me lately more since I saw him uncharacteristically scold Romanus. Just pray for our relationship, I guess. I feel like I've had a reall hard time pleasing him lately. And I know that Ultimitaly, it is not my earthly father I need to please but my heavenly One. But, I don't know. I guess that it is just important to me to please my dad. Anyway, I've been praying for you and everythign with school finacially and academically.
My offer still stands- if you need anything, let me know.
Bethany