My new year resolutions are not too personal.I purposed to read through the whole Bible this year which I have never done before and that I did,almost two times now.I also purposed to advace in my music this year,now as I was looking back through my resolutions I discovered that this particular resolution was not well stated because I didn't specify exactly what I meant by advancing my music which leaves it hanging since advancing is relative,but even in that I would say I have done quite well,I can play the keyboard and have been working very much on my vocals especially on hitting high notes.The third is,I purposed to be praying 3 times a day not in my heart coz I do that more than 3 times in a day,but I just wanted to instill in myself the discipline of taking and setting time aside for prayer,just as a discipline.Well inthis,I have failed but I hope to make up to it next year,I just want to appreciate that taking time in prayer is as equally important as reading the Bible and I want to strike a balance between the two.Okay I've been waiting for quite sometime now and I'm convince you're not gonna be on line,I don't know what has come up but know that I like you and I'm praying for you.Have a nice weekend, mmmwaaa!Miss ya big and like ya lots lots
Giddy

I'm not for sure about my sister. She has wanted to do that for a long time and especially since I got back. She has so definite plans as of now but she has been talking about it a little. She (I think) is a little more interested in the west side, however. I'm so proud of you and you're singing. You'll never know where God will take you- "more than all we ask or imagine," right? I wish so badly that I could hear you sing. And tomorrow, since I'll be just getting up, I might be more idiotic than relaxed, but whatever you want. I'm glad that yu think about me and pray for me. Seeing that makes me SO happy. What were you're resolutions this year? Is that too personal? If so, nevermind. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. We have to sing Ballads to my English class this Thurs. I'm so scarred. I have no confidence in my music skill for this. I don't know why. I can't wait to talk to you tomorrow. Good Night.
Yours- Bethany

Hey,tomorrow is saturday so I don't know if you would like to wake up at six on a saturday but that would be perfect time for me coz later on tomorrow we're attending a graduation party of one of our friends called Edna.I Don't have major plans for christmas except to be with my family and have a nice time.Wow I had a great day today we recorded the play and 4 songs for the programme and two of which I sang solo I hope I don't become too famous.About your coming I'm talking about next summer.Your sister will be coming?where exactly,at our center?It would be great to have you come with her.What has been on my mind is majorly you and how I really wish I could see you now and talk to you face to face.Second to that is my schooling plans. Also I have been thinking and evaluating whether I accomplished my resolutions for this year,I had three and two I have done well but one, not quite and so I am beginnig to think of what I want to accomplish next year in regards to aspects of life.Cheer up even when there seems to be no reason to because God loves you and someone is thinking and praying for you in Africa.Talk to you tomorrow.I'm really looking forward to chatting to yu especially in a relaxed mood.Goodnight.
Giddy.

Hey there Beefy boy,
I would love so much to chat with you. As of right now, I have no plans for Sat. Today was such a bland day. Do you ever have days where you go to bed feeling like you've accomplished nothing? I usually try everthing in my power to avoid such days. Maybe some are inevitable. I can't really describ my day except that it was bland, absolutely normal. I hate normality for the most part. Anyway, when would you be talking about, if I came to see you? This summer? Next? I kind of don't think that my parents would let me go over there by myself, but my sister has been thinking about doing missions work over there so there is no doubt in my mind that she would want to go. I'll talk to my dad about it sometime. I don't think that I am familiar with PUSH. For Christmas day my family and I are going down state to stay with my grandma and some other family. Then we have a family reunion in Georgia for I think four days in between Christmas and New Years. How about you? What are your plans? What has been on your mind lately? I've been thinking about you lots. Anyway, I'm excited to hear about how your play and what not went. I like you lots. Talk to you later.
Bethany

Hey!We're having a TV programme and so we'll be shooting some songs and mymes and parts of our plays for it tomorrow.Its fun and I'm looking foward to it.Wow that song ,I have not sang it to my self for quite a while,I'll sing it immediaetly I'm out of this place.How do you take christmas?Is there any thing you have planned for this season for instance?Bethany,remember Before I was sure what step to take how I was sckeptical about my plans for coming and I asked you about it?Well Now it seems quite clear that I won't be coming to the states so could I ask again the possibility of your coming after travelling?Is that possible at all would your parents allow you?Just food for thought.Man I really would love to see you again babe maybe we need to pray about this some more,you know the P_U_S_H acrostic?Yeah thats what we need to do for our own sakes.I understand how you feel about camps and maybe we should try to be chatting all those saturdays when we have the opportunity,we need to maximise that little time we have during that season.Do you have anything to do this saturday?Could we arrange for some time to chat?I have no commitment on sat.but on sun.we'll be going with the team to attend a certain teens class around.Goodnight and ditto.
Giddy

Does camps meant that I oly get to here from you once a week? Sigh. I'm not a very big fan of camps but only for selfish reasons. I am so glad that we talked this morning. It was so good for me. Thank you for everything you are (ding! what does that remind you of?) Please pray for new people that came to youth group this evening. I don't think that they were saved. I concerntrated pretty well in school today. My mind was drft occasionally, but how could it not after coming right from talking to a guy like you? And don't worry about being careful. I just need to not jump to any conclusions, alright? I agree totally that is was worth it to get up earlier to talk to you. I thought about joining the army this morning. It was really a bizarre movement. Then, I thought to myself "Are you crazy?", answered myself with a "yes but not to that extreme" then I snapped myself back to reality. Have a good day. I'm thinking of you and pray for you always.
Bethany

I feel better now after talking to you.It was worth it and thanks for taking your time.I think I'll have to be more careful with my words to avoid such a thing from happening in the future.Issues like this bring growth and they are healthy to deal with and tackle.The next sunday after this camps begin and I am getting myself prepared in every way.Anyway I want you to appreciate that your my best friend-my girl friend-and I like you very much I'm proud of you and always thank God for you.Hope you had a good day and concetrated in class.Good night.
Giddy.

Oh Gids, I apologize, I didn't mean to make things difficult. I'm sorry that I confused you. I suppose I am just a very fickle girl. I guess that sometimes I am reminded how very much you like me and it scares me because in some ways I think that you are so wise (certainly not an old man) and I still have so much to learn and that the last thing that I ever want to do is hurt you and the more I think that you like me the better chance there is for you to get hurt. I like you so much that I'm scarred to death that I am going to hurt you and that I'll lose you through some stupid thing that I have done. Maybe I'm just not used to having to handle someone who is as incredible as you are. I'm so so sorry. I hope that everything is ok by the time that I go to school tomorrow and I'm looking forward to talking to you.
Bethany

Hey, I'm doing just fine.I actually read your mail on saturday and I was out of words coz honestly I didn't grasp the content quite well and so I read and re-read that mail.So I felt I needed time to know excactly what to write about that.It is important in life to take one step backwards so that you can take two steady ones forward.Iam beginning to understand exactly what you mean but please also be patient with me and help me to understand this more.May I ask a few questions;What exactly do you mean by me being very very serious about you,isn't that what good friends are supposed to be?Was I supposed to take you superficially?I don't think so because thats not how I take my friends,I treat my friends with all the seriousness they deserve and you deserve more.When you say that you are not ready to promise any part of you to anyone neither can you commit yourself to anyone,exactly what level of commitment are you talkin' about,boy-girlfriend commitment?I don't know,maybe I'm just being irrational and ununderstanding but honestly I don't understand.Are you not sure about something.Okay how would you want me to treat you?What exactly does it mean to take you less seriouly,write less?Not send gifts?Not tell you that I like you so much and I want to keep doing that?I know you're 16 and I respect that but how old do you think I am,I'm only 18!Iam not a wisened old man there still ALOT that I don't know do you know when I intend to get married?some 8-9years from now so is it like Iam taking you on my HIGH level which you haven't reached.I'm sorry if this offends you in any way really I don't intend to do that a second, you need to open my eyes on this,maybe the chat tommorow will be helpful-if you'll be available.Please just understand that this is kinda hard for me and even confusing but I am sorry for taking you too fast.I pray that God will help me to just get the right pace and to know exactly what that means.Maybe thats enouhg for today,but know that I still like you,despite this confusion on my side,I really do.Goodnight.

I'm sorry to leave you with your weekend on such pejorative grounds. But I hope that you had a nice one anyway. We had a really good time only six of us went which made things seem just like the way they used to be- when we were all so close. Wow, that seems like such a long time ago- back in the day. We had a really good ten hours in the van just talking and bonding and laughing and getting to know one another again. The actual rally was really good too. I'm not going to try to skim my last post, because that is really important to me and I don't want you to think that I don't like you, I just want you to slow down a little bit. Does that make sense? The last thing that I want to do is to hurt you. I wish that you were in my place and that you would have to tell me this because I hate telling you things like this but on the other hand, I feel like I wasn't completely being truthful if I didn't. I hope that you understand and aren't too disappointed in me or anything. My sister came home again this weekend but I didn't even know that until I got home this evening and we only got to talk for like twenty minutes before she had to go back. BUT her and her boyfriend are coming back here for supper tomorrow. That will be nice. My crammed-pack weekend is sending me to bed early this even. Please tell me what you are thinking and feeling. Don't forget how much I like you.
Bethany