Dearest Gideon,
As I look back on the summer, it seems to have came and went really quickly. I expected my summer to be very difficult and kind of spiritually dry becuase it seems like summers get that way easily for me when I am away from this Bible college that just nourishes my soul in many ways. But, Gideon, the grace of God is an amazing thing and Christ met me in a really special way this summer. I learned that God really wanted to pursue me and that He was longing for my heart. God and I spent a lot of quality time together over the summer and He revealed a part of Himself to me before that I had never fully understood. He taught me about freedom within Himself.
I finally have tasted of grace and I will never be the same.
Everything else that I wanted to tell you about what has been going on in my life seems so insignificant after tell you that. In all reality, it is. But I would like to keep you as my friend for as long as I can and I figured that you should know what I've been up to.
I taught some of the younger girls in our church this summer. I taught them about what I had been learning about grace as well as what becoming a woman looks like. It was really hard in some ways when I really thought that I was not making a difference and no one cared. But, it's not about what I did this summer. It was about how God can work and waiting on His timing. Concerning a job, I worked in a hospital in the middle of the ghetto in a city which is the murder capital of the United States. Within the hospital, I worked in the Emergency Room. It was really good nursing experience for me. I got to really put everything that I had learned into action in a place that was full of chaos. Can you believe that I'm going to be a real nurse in less than a year? Wow. That seems crazy to me. I'm really growing up, huh?
Well Gideon, I'm glad to hear that God is working in your life- even if it comes through or after bad deiscions. Are you and Joy going to be getting married? It seems to me like you guys have been together for a long time. Let me know how school is going and when you graduate. I miss you. And Gideon, I thank God that He gives us men like you in this world.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Bethany

No matter how long it's been, I always can picture your excitement when I read what you have posted. And no matter how long it's been, I genuinely and truly miss you after I read what you have to say. My heart misses yours.

Anyway, I apologize for not being more responsible when it comes to writing you. I just finished my first full year of nursing school, and it was a bumpy ride. These last couple of weeks have been a sprint to the finish and I feel like all I've been able to focus on what getting one foot in front of the other. Honestly, Gideon, it scares me to death to think that at this time next year I will be graduating! I feel like I have way too much to learn in the next year for me to be a nurse. It's just crazy to think that I will be holding people's lives in my hands within 12 months... crazy and humbling.
Remember that conference about AIDS in Africa that I was telling you about? Well, some of my friends and I got together and we decided that we could not just leave that conference the same people that we were when we went in, so we formed kind of a club at our school that is going to raise money as well as awareness about that issue. It's going pretty well so far. We've had to do a lot of detail work so far like writing a constitution and planning goals and institute leadership so I feel like we haven't done a lot to advance the Kingdom yet, but I have to remind myself that God is pleased with details and planning as well.
God has been teaching me many different things lately as I look to our school break for three months and realize that I have no idea what any of it is going to entail. I don't know where I'm going to work or where I'm going to live or who I'm going to be spending my time with. It's all up in the air. But I think that amidst my solitude this summer, God will help me find a part of myself. I think that these next couple of months are going to be difficult and refining- one of those times that I know will be good for me, but I'm not really looking forward to- you know what I'm talking about I'm sure. I am putting my hope in the fact that He who began a good work in me will carry it onto completion.

I am thrilled to hear that things seem to be going well with your schooling and ministries. I'm so happy for you that you are working with Moses. I remember him from the time I spent with you. Please tell him I said Hi. And please, please let me know how your concert went. I hope so that it went well. I will be praying that your ministries are mighty and efficient and that God will use you as a pure and empty vessel.
And Gideon, I just want to thank you for being such an encouraging friend. You have been such a powerful example in my life. After hearing from you, I always want to go make more of a difference than I wanted to before. That kind of leadership is a powerful and effective gift.
In Him,
Bethany

I am planning to come back sometime. I really am. You have no idea how much I've been thinking about it lately.
I was at an AIDS conference last weekend and it was so hard in a lot of ways. It pretty much was just informative on what all is going on in the AIDS pandemic and how we as Americans can help. There was a lot of different information about AIDS, poverty, legislation, and non-profit organizations, amongst many other things.
It was really thought provoking for me as I really felt reaffirmed in a lot of ways that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to give to people who are less fortunate than me, and I want to help. I want to give treatment to those who have AIDS and care for all parts of them. I want to give of me, because I have been given so much. I want to love people who don't know what love is like.
It also brought up a lot of questions in my head like Do I really want to chose this path for my life that seems like a losing battle? Do I want to live a life that will undoubtedly be marked with heartache? Am I emotionally strong enough to really do this? Will I do it alone? Why has God placed this on my heart so heavily?
I am beginning to sort through the answers to all of these questions. But it will be a bumpy road for sure. And I know I cannot expect clear cut answers.
God has been really good to me lately. He been teaching me a lot about love and how He loves me and pursues a romantic relationship with me. I have to admit that I have never looked at God as a romantic God who desires me, but after all, since He created romance and relationships, He's probably the expert at them both, huh? Funny how certain things get ingrained in me that really cripple my walk with Christ and I don't even realize it.
I was also thinking the other day about you and how much I appreciate your friendship. I was trying to figure out how much we'd changed. I'm sure you feel the same way, but I feel like I have changed so much since you last saw me. How long has it been? Let's see... almost four years? Wow. I wonder if we'd even recognize eachother. I am so looking forward to seeing you one day and getting to know you all over again. How fun that would be.
You have been a good friend. Thanks for everything.
Prayin for you.
Bethany

Dear Gideon, I hope everything is going alright with you. It always worries me a little bit when I don't hear from you simply becuase I really have no other way of getting a hold of you. Well, having said that, I want you to know that you are in my prayers.
I hope you had a nice holiday break. I did. I spend part of it in the lower half of the country doing volunteer work for where Hurrican Katrina hit and destroyed most of the buildings down there. It was really a difficult trip to see so much devastion and so much pain. But God is always good and above all the rubble, there was a definite spirit of hope that the people down there carried with them. I was home just in time for Christmas and it was a really good low-key time with my family.
I have been learning a lot this semester. A lot about nursing and how to take care of people better, but also alot about myself. God has blessed me so much, Gideon- so much. I'm not sure that I've ever looked at things with such gratitude as what I have this semester. My family is so awesome and I love them so much. My parents this semester have just been rocks for me. God has also been showing me a lot about the topic of womanhood and feminity. I'm reading a book called "Captivating" which talks alot about how the church here really cripples women by not giving them titles that don't fullfill the potential God gave women. It talks about what a truly beautiful woman looks like and how she can show her heart to a cruel and harsh world. It's been really good for me to study and look at and finally come to the realization that I am valuable as a woman. I think that for my whole life society had just ingrained in me that I wasn't as valuable as a man- which isn't true at all.
I've also been learning about what it means to need people. Gideon, I am so fiercely independent sometimes- I dont' really need anyone but God. And now I know how much that kind of an attitude hurt the community in the body of Christ. And oh, I could go on for a long long time, but I really want to know what's going on in your life and what you are learning and how you're doing.
Oh! I'm sorry about not being able to send you any more money, Gideon; I will just have to wait for your CD for a while. The bank won't let me send you any less than 100usd and I just don't have that right now. So I'm really sorry, but I will be looking forward to hearing one day in the furture.
Let me know what you've been up to lately.
Bethany

Hey, I will also write more later. I just got back from helping with the hurricane relief and I'm really sick. I just wanted to let you know that I' m thinkin' of you. I have 45 minutes left until it's Christmas, but it's been Christmas there for a while now, so I just wanted to wish you happy holidays and send my love.
Merry Christmas, Gideon.

Sorry- I almost forgot! My mailing address is
Bethany Webb
708W 700 North
Porter County
Hobart, IN 46342
USA

Dear Gideon, I do apologize for my long silence. School this year has been more work than I have ever had. It's going well though. It has just definitely kept me going nonstop. I am learning so much and sometimes I get really excited to be a nurse. I'm so excited about your CD and I hope that I can get a copy of it whenever there is a chance. I would love nothing more than to hear it.
We just had mission conference here at school last week and it was so good. I cried five different times listening to people talk about thier passsions and feeling my passion for Africa really get kindled. I heard a couple of people talk about what thier lives have been like as they have worked in Africa. One man does medical work in Chad and actually, he is looking for a group of 10-15 people to go back with him this summer in order to help him put on a youth conference and then go on a trek with him. It's only two weeks this summer and I've really been praying about it and I think I am going to apply for it, but the man also said that probably about 100 people will apply for it, so I'm thinking that my odds for going aren't very good. However, I know that through God all things are possible, and that if He wants me to go, I will.
About the public university, I think that would be a wonderful and probably difficult experience for you, but I think it would stretch you alot and be really good for you. I agree with what your professor said entirely. For all of the issues that you are going to be dealing with, I think it would probably be good to have an older wiser person that you sturggle through them with you, for some support and accountability. I know that you are firm where you stand, but a cord of three strands is not easily broken, right? I would love to hear about what you are thinking about as the time comes, so if you ever have any free time, jot down the things you have been learning. I love to sharpen my mind and probably don't do it as often as I should.
Gids, I miss you a whole lot and if I am able to come to Africa this summer, is there any way that I could get in touch with you? I dont' know how possible something like that would be since I think most of our work will be in Chad and the CAR, but let me know what you think. I know that money is tight and that you are busy with everything and on top of all of that, I dont' even know how safe it would be for me to travel by myself. Anyway, let me know what you think. Also let me know how Joy is, and your family and funding for your school.
You have all my thoughts and prayers- for real.
Bethany